Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
