I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
