don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
