just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
