I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
