just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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