4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
