My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Life is so much better after having sex.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
