She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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