You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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