She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
you mean i was at the winter classic?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
