I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
