I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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