bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
