Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
