you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize