Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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