Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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