I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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