What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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