His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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