planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize