Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
