i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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