...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Just invented taco cereal.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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