I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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