then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
