Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Randomize
