One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am naked and annoyed.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize