he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
