Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
