3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
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