I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
