"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
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