You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
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i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
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So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize