We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
There are leaves in my underwear?
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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