I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
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