You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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