were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
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