Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
