I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
