After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
do herpes really smell.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
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