The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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