she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
