My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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