We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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