ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Four minutes until I can fart!
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
