Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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