Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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