So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
