I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
