i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize