Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize