at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
