I will die if light touches me.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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