do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
