Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
