Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize