Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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