Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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