I'm jealous of your bromance
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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